My mood had dipped very low in recent weeks. I could hardly move. I was floating in a sea of depression in the dark, by myself. I could hardly move. Some changes were made that helped a little but what really seemed to light up the darkness was when I decided to bake a loaf of bread. While the dough was rising I finished the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. It was like a spark. The light flashed on and I started to swim to safer waters. I was happy and humming while I got the bread in the pan and let it rise a second time. It took so long for me to realize that sitting and giving in to the negative voices was only making them stronger. Usually I would have berated myself for not realizing this soon but instead I looked at the positives. I know now and that I what is important. It's like when people say the first step to recovery is acknowledging you have a problem.
Now I think about what I can make next. What new thing I can try. I should mention that was my first loaf of bread AND it was delicious. Next on the docket to try is biscuits. I'm feeling so much better. Occasionally I feel those negative thoughts but I think about baking or cooking and they voices fade into the background as I imagine the steps.
No comments:
Post a Comment